We Were Almost Together

pict. we heart it

One evening i met you for the first time, i could barely see your face. It was almost 9. There was a candle in the middle of us and our friends. It would just be like any other Thursday. I was kind of sleepy and had no idea who you are and the others. Then we started to chit chat, introduced ourselves, giggled, and many more. You told us about your dreams, ambitions, and sometimes you made a joke. I have a favorite habit that is  getting lost in listening people. I'm enjoying their gestures when they're talking about their lives, especially loving their gaze. I will be just quiet, stare at them, and nod my head without realize it. Perhaps, it was what made you looked nervous that night.

I could see you looked away when our glance bumped into each other many times. And that was cute. After hours, we ended our nice conversation, and shook hands like an old friend. The next day, i didn't know what happen to us. I always found us staring at each other then looked away. Pretending like we didn't care. Sometimes we exchanged hello's, how are you's, where are you going's, and smiled. And that was my favorite till now. A week later after class, you asked for my number. Days after that, i got a message from you. You thought i didn't attend the class when actually i was sitting in front row of the seats. You said maybe i miss my class, or honestly did you miss me?:) We'd be exchanging messages from then on, talking about the most random things and everything. We had lunchs, bought me juices, chuckled, and mostly we spent our day in texting.

Time really flies. I know we didn't spend much time together because of our tight schedules in the course. It's always really hard to say goodbye. The day i'd go home, we met accidentally. I was talking with the dorm's owner while you're with your friends, but we'd still be connected. The two of us glanced at each other, it was like playing a who-is-the-most-does-not-care game, but the truth is we do care. I know you had the same feeling as me. Then i approached you to say goodbye. We shook hands awkwardly, you asked me to accompany you in my city. You kept holding my hand, suddenly pulled me closer when a biker would hit me by accident. I'd blush a little.

From time to time, we went to numerous chatting after that. Usually we just talked about things going on with our lives. Mostly, you told me about your life and i'd be your cheerleader to motivate you to keep going no matter what. We'd be each other's support system. We had dinner for the first time after separating for months. Our theme was black, unplanned, but you looked handsome. And it was the time i felt for you. By that time we had dinners and again, talk. Talking about everything. My never-to-be-forgotten moment was our second date. You took me out for breaking fasting, even you got fast too. I was touched. We have a large gap but we don't really care.

Now, it's almost a year. We know each other well enough and push one another to be the best version's of ourselves. Sometimes, we're busy with routines, tight schedules, under pressures, and any other lives stuff that make us not talking for days, but still we found one another. We have the same feeling for each other, but we can't be one. We're really 'good friends'. Now, everything has changed. I know it's sounds greedy, but i want you in my life. You've ever told me that you loved me. You asked me to be your girl, but that time i was still doubting you. Honestly, i regret it because you're getting away. Somewhat, i feel like i am gonna lose you slowly.

I am sorry if i am playing hard-to-catch game. You know, it's women. I just wanted to see your effort, but i was wrong. Maybe this is just a test from you, it's like a kind of revenge. But honey please, can we just stop this silence? I miss you. I do. We are the kids that have a new toy called love, so let's play together.